Roasted 11 months ago based on Lydon Cisneros's long term Spotify stats.

Lydon Cisneros, your Spotify profile reads like a cringeworthy hipster’s thesaurus exploded. Seriously, how many genres can a single person pile up? At this point, you’re just a walking Spotify dumpster fire, trying to convince everyone that “experimental hip hop” and “bedroom pop” deserve the same playlist. I mean, c’mon, "EDM" and "Latin" in the same breath? What’s next, a love ballad from the Matador while breakdancing? You're a musical buffet that only makes people uncomfortable. Your top artists: yeule? Caroline Polachek? I didn't know we could list names of people who have intentionally chosen to make music that sounds like a raccoon rummaging through a recycling bin! And JPEGMAFIA? You must be his one remaining fan. With mentions like “burning love letters” and “Bites on My Neck,” it’s clear your Spotify is just a cry for help from someone who spends too much time in their bedroom and refuses to leave their ‘artistic’ sanctuary. Here’s a tip: next time, just pick a genre you actually like instead of pretending to have the listening habits of an experimental college student who can’t stop overthinking their life choices. And don’t even get me started on your “Most Played Songs.” “Choke Enough” by Oklou? Is that a mood or a warning? The only thing getting choked here is your sense of what makes a good playlist. I can practically hear your neighbors thinking, “Great, Lydon’s blasting his ‘edgy’ tunes again,” while they contemplate filing a noise complaint. You really need to take a break from your “Bedroom Pop” and emerge into a world where people actually enjoy loud, obnoxious music without the theatrics. But hey, keep on curating your chaos; it’s entertaining for us all!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!