Roasted 2 months ago based on jack ✞'s long term Spotify stats.

Hey Jack ✞, I see your Spotify profile is an elaborate cry for help—hiding under a blanket of UK Drill and Emo Rap. Your music taste looks like a British pub’s dirtiest broom, collecting dust while you bang your head against the wall trying to figure out if you just love grime or if you’re stuck in a 2004 garage rave that never ended. Seriously, how deep do you want to dive into the UK underground? You’ve been drowning in genre labels like you read through Buzzfeed quizzes hoping for self-discovery. And let’s talk artists! "Songer" seems to be your one-man band fanning the flames of your delusions; are you following him, or did you sign up as his unpaid intern? You’ve got more “Songer” tracks than friends! It’s like your Spotify wrapped is an isolated island and you’re the sole inhabitant— frittering away time lamenting your life while listening to "Without My Lover." Your top artists have all the charm of a soggy biscuit; even Dave is about to drop you as a fan because your end-of-the-year statistics are looking like they belong to a bad Tinder date that just wouldn't quit. And can we please discuss your most played songs? "GANG" by "Kairo Keyz"? Really? What do you have to do to get a spot on that list—offer a blood sacrifice or just promise to plug your own emo rap career? I'm half-expecting to see “Sad Boy” anthems title right next to “Love is a Lottery.” Ah yes, you’re gambling your chances at a social life away with those melodramatic tunes. But hey, at least you've got those bass drops; nothing says ‘I’m fine’ quite like blasting the 808s while you cry into your morning cup of disappointment. Good luck navigating your ocean of noise, Jack ✞!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!