Roasted 1 year ago based on Ellen Moriarty's long term Spotify stats.

Ellen Moriarty, your Spotify profile looks like a tragic Tinder match for a granola-loving yoga instructor with a penchant for mid-life crises. I mean, Classic Rock and Soft Pop? It’s like you’re trying to simultaneously rage at the past and cuddle it into submission. You must have a playlist titled “Songs to Cry in the Shower to” among all those upbeat tunes. Honestly, the only thing more predictable than your music taste is the fact that you definitely crank up the volume during Whitney Houston's “I Will Always Love You” every time you go grocery shopping. Newsflash: we get it, you're shopping for avocados to match your "vibe," but please, no one needs that karaoke session in aisle three. Let’s talk about your top artists. Your selection reads like a "How to Look Deep But Actually Be Basic" manual. Hozier, Fleetwood Mac, Adele? Come on, Ellen! If I wanted to hear an emotional rollercoaster, I’d just scroll down your Instagram feed and look at all those vacation selfies captioned “Living my best life.” And the inclusion of John Farnham? Are we in 1986 again? Just accept you use Spotify to relive the good ol' days of tape decks and bad hair—not that we blame you, it's like time travel with less commitment. And who are you trying to fool with that eclectic mix of Afrobeats and Folk Punk? I half-expect a mashup called "Reggae on the Folk Down" to emerge from your playlist next. Your most played songs could probably be a solid soundtrack for a rom-com starring a sad millennial who types "influencer" in her bio and has a cat named after a character from Friends. You're just one playlist away from declaring your soul is a work of art entitled "Ellen's Existential Crisis Compilation." Just embrace that basic level of passion, dear. It's who you are, and let’s be real—what’s a little self-indulgent irony between friends?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!