Roasted 10 months ago based on Jacob Hollaway's long term Spotify stats.

Jacob Hollaway, eh? Your Spotify profile reads like a hipster’s existential crisis, trying desperately to find the meaning of life through an endless loop of acoustic guitars and emotional introspection. Are you compiling a soundtrack for your imaginary indie film where your biggest conflict is deciding whether to get oat milk or almond milk in your overpriced cold brew? Indie Folk? Folk? Indie? You’ve got so many “genres” here it’s like you’re trying to compensate for an inherently mediocre personality with a ton of vague categorization. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to start the world’s saddest cult. Your top artists read like a list of people who would refuse to participate in your group karaoke night because they don’t want to risk tainting their artistic integrity. I mean, have you ever seen anyone perform Mac DeMarco’s “Chamber of Reflection” while seated cross-legged in a thrift store? That’s a look that could stop traffic - and not in a good way. If Laura Marling’s lyrics don’t make you feel like both crying and giving up on life, I’m afraid you’re not showing the right levels of dedication to that sad-boy aesthetic you’ve got going on. Seriously, Jake, are you working on becoming the poster child for indie emotional withdrawal? Because I think you’re well on your way. As for your most played songs, cozy up with your “Bedroom Pop” while pondering why you can't hold a conversation longer than a script of a coffee shop sitcom. “Inner City Blues”? Please, the only blues you’re living through is the dreary color palette of your Spotify Wrapped – all melancholic and moody, just like your favorite memes about unrequited love. And don’t think for a second we can overlook “Water” by Tyla as a quintessential element of your vibe; it’s almost as if you’re sending the world a signal that you’re one existential crisis away from forgetting to drink anything but kombucha for a month. So go ahead, continue crafting your sad indie playlist while the rest of us dance to songs with real bass lines.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!