Roasted 7 months ago based on Aaron Evans's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Aaron Evans, the proud curator of a Spotify profile that reads like a high school art major’s mood board gone horribly wrong. With a musical taste that swings from "Southern Gothic" to "Hyperpop," you’ve managed to collect enough genres to host a confused dinner party. Your playlist is like a sonic representation of indecision—one minute, you’re pining for an emo anthem, and the next, you’re twirling to glam rock like it’s 1985. Make up your mind, buddy. You can’t have your moody cake and eat your glitter, too! Let’s not forget your top artists. It’s impressive how you’ve managed to stack your favorite musicians into a femme-dominated lineup that would make even the most die-hard feminist roll their eyes. As if casting “The Goddess of Noise” as your divine savior wasn’t enough, you’ve got "White Noise Radiance" in your top five—a chilling reminder that sometimes your taste in music sounds eerily like the sound of a running fridge. How do you go from Beyoncé to “White Noise” without skipping a beat? It’s a musical identity crisis that has the emotional weight of a ten-pound bag of cotton candy left out in the rain. And really, "Most Played Songs"? I’m half-expecting your career highlight reel to be filled with the soothing tones of white noise. Who needs a smooth R&B groove when you can embrace the exquisite sound of a box fan humming you to sleep? You’ve got more “abracadabra” than actual hits on your profile, Aaron. But hey, if listening to tracks named after ambient appliances brings you joy, who are we to judge? Just please, for the love of all things audibly sacred, mix it up a little—maybe find a hobby outside of conjuring soundscapes that only a sleep-deprived insomniac could appreciate.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!