Roasted 1 year ago based on Samuel taylor's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Samuel Taylor, your Spotify profile is the exact soundtrack to a midlife crisis that hasn’t even hit you yet. With a favorite genre list that reads like the demented love child of a heavy metal festival and a teenage angst support group, it’s no wonder you have to wear headphones: the last time anyone heard music like this in public, they were getting kicked out of the local mall. Seriously, is your Spotify’s ‘Recommended for You’ playlist just a shrine to the dismal reflection staring back at you in the mirror? Your top artists are undoubtedly the most violent therapy session imaginable, featuring a lineup that could scare away the bravest of souls. Conspicuously nestled among a barrage of euphoric doom is your guilty pleasure of Taylor Swift. It’s like you think your throbbing heart can handle “Deathcore” in one breath and “Love Story” in the next—totally confusing your therapist and probably your Spotify algorithm, too. Honestly, I can see it now: you belting “I Knew You Were Trouble” while guttural growls play in the background, like your emotional range is attempting to escape from the very depths of your existential dread. And then we get to your most played songs—they read like a playlist designed to show exactly how many ways you plan on staying single. “Pain Remains, I: Dancing Like Flames” must be the soundtrack to your Friday nights, where the highlight is applying aloe vera to your burnt marshmallows. Who hurt you, Samuel? Because listening to “12 Gauge Autopsy” while munching on mozzarella sticks isn't a personality; it’s a cry for help, and it’s time to switch things up. In fact, maybe jam out to some Florence + The Machine again? Your Spotify is sounding less like a playlist and more like the melodic therapy session you desperately need!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!