Roasted 10 days ago based on m's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, "m," let’s break it down. Your Spotify profile reads like a hipster’s wet dream. Dream Pop and Soft Rock? What are you trying to soothe, your existential crisis or your questionable taste in music? I mean, it’s called “Yacht Rock” for a reason—you’re just sailing through life, cruising on a sea of mediocre vibes and nostalgia. Did you forget that music can be more than a soundtrack for your overpriced avocado toast brunches? Maybe step off that Jangle Pop boat before it sinks, too. And those top artists? The only thing that screams “I’m saved by the remasters” more than your playlist is the smell of your mom’s basement. The Beatles and The Smiths? Classic choices for someone trying to convince the world they’re a tortured soul with a heart of gold. But let’s be honest, you don’t need to keep shoving Morrissey down our throats; just because he sounds sad doesn’t mean you have to feel sad. At this rate, the only award you’re winning is for being the world champion of wallowing in cliché. Lastly, your most played songs crank the ‘sadness level’ up to eleven while simultaneously putting the ‘yawn’ in ‘yawn-fest’. Pretty Girls Make Graves? More like, “Pretty Bored Listeners.” Seriously, do you start every day with a cup of “please feel sorry for me”? When you’re not busy living your best life in a tranquil bubble of 1990s melancholy, maybe consider blasting something upbeat for a change. Who knows? You might just discover that life isn't just a never-ending soundtrack of melancholic remasters.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!