Roasted 2 months ago based on Mike's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Michael Girlando, your Spotify profile reads like a teenage diary that mistakenly got published on a social media platform. How many saddest-boy hours did it take for you to curate a playlist that spans genres like "Soft Pop" to "Christian Hip Hop"? Are you trying to capture every emotional shift in your life, or are you just really confused about which mood you're in? You’ve got enough variety here to soundtrack a mid-life crisis and a high school breakup all at once. And let's talk about your top artists. Seriously, who even is "Myles Smith"? I get it, you want to keep it fresh, but when your number one artist sounds like they were born from an algorithm designed to create generically uplifting tunes, it’s pretty clear you’re in a safe-space cocoon of mediocrity. Then there’s NF and Eminem, the only two acts bringing any semblance of street cred to your list—like a guy wearing a tuxedo with sneakers to a wedding. Bonus points for including Taylor Swift, though; it’s the only vocal range on your list that could outshine the sound of your emotional turmoil. As for those most-played tracks, I’m convinced you’re just playing them on repeat while staring into the void, contemplating your life choices. Singing along with “When I Was Your Man” while simultaneously bumping “Both Dead” by honestav? Sounds like a solid plan for achieving peak existential crisis, my friend. But really, Michael, give your ears a break and try out something you haven’t already sponged dry. Because at this rate, your playlist is one more cheesy breakup song away from becoming a sad meme compilation.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!