Roasted 30 days ago based on Alfie's long term Spotify stats.

Alfie, my dude, your Spotify profile reads like a musical identity crisis on a hot summer day. You’ve managed to cram more genres into your favorites than the average Tinder profile has excuses for being single. Rap? Alternative Rock? Hip Hop? You could’ve just said, “I like anything that can be played at a middle school dance,” and saved yourself the time. It's like your music taste is a buffet line where you just piled everything on your plate because you're scared to commit to one flavor. Your top artists are a list of the most mainstream acts someone can muster without actually stepping outside their suburban bubble. Drake and Ed Sheeran? Wow, truly pushing the envelope there! Next thing we know, you’ll be blasting "Wonderwall" on an acoustic guitar and bragging that you discovered it all by yourself in '97. If this is your idea of an eclectic mix, I’m terrified to see what your “throwback jams” playlist looks like. I’m guessing it’s just a single song on repeat: "All Star" by Smash Mouth. And let’s not even start on your most played songs. "Drive By" by Train? Really? The only time I've ever heard that song played was as a punchline in a bad sitcom. Don’t worry though, Craig David’s been waiting by the phone for someone like you to listen to "I Know You" — what a romantic tragedy! Your Spotify looks like a rogue mixtape you made in high school while desperately trying to impress someone who ghosted you faster than your favorite artists release albums. Do yourself a favor and maybe try to drop one of those genres before the musical police come and take you away!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!