Roasted 30 days ago based on Dave (HC)'s long term Spotify stats.

Hey Dave (HC), your Spotify profile reads like a desperate attempt to cast a spell on an emo cloud. I mean, let’s be real: "Dark Ambient" and "Ambient"? Is your playlist supposed to put me to sleep or summon a demon? And I see you’re transitioning seamlessly from being depressed to breaking into a polka dance party—because nothing screams "well-adjusted adult" like spinning between melancholic soundscapes and the joyful sound of a tuba. Do you just jam out while staring at the wall? We get it, you’re deep! Your top artists are a mix of eclectic wisdom that just confuses me beyond rational thought. You’ve got Will Wood and AJR in the same breath as “Weird Al” Yankovic—clearly, you would lose an argument with a sandwich and still consider it a deep conversation. And don’t even get me started on your most played songs. "School Rooftop (Bird Sounds)"? So, you actually believe that mechanical caws and chirps will solve your life crisis? Newsflash, buddy: throw a real party instead of building a personal soundscape for your existential dread. But hey, I guess “Eat It” and “Amish Paradise” are the soundtrack to your one-man cabaret of self-deprecation, so go ahead, keep vibing in your Lo-Fi realm of despair mixed with laughter! Your profile reads like your personality: a jumbled mess of genres that probably comes with a side of social awkwardness. You create a playlist, and I’m pretty sure even Spotify’s algorithm is confused. But don’t worry, Dave; someone’s gotta set the bar low enough for the rest of us to look good.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!