Roasted 25 days ago based on Cayden's long term Spotify stats.

Cayden, your Spotify profile is like a fancy restaurant menu scribbled together by someone who just discovered all the cool words in the thesaurus. You’ve got enough “Classical” and “Orchestral” to make Mozart roll over in his grave and rethink his life choices. It’s clear you want to make dinner guests question their taste in music while they’re trying to enjoy their chicken alfredo. Seriously, who do you think you are—an aristocrat hosting a soirée, or a kid who just finished binge-watching anime and decided it was time to give the world a taste of your "refined" palate? And let’s talk about your top artists. What a list! You’ve somehow managed to mix Ryan Gosling’s sultry voice with the Berliner Philharmoniker like you're trying to recreate a high-art version of a sad romcom. “Hi, I’m Cayden—here’s my platonic vibe of listening to Sinatra while simultaneously bumping to J-Pop!” Remind me again—is this a music profile or a cult recruiting pitch for people who enjoy chandeliers and crumpets? The best part is knowing your favorite song is “Mockingbird” by Eminem, which honestly feels like you’re trying to pretend you came from the streets while snapping along to Chopin. Your most played songs are basically a mixtape for someone who’s perpetually confused about life; it's part highbrow opera aficionado and part awkward teen with a crush. “Another Day of Sun” while you’re seated in your room with no windows? I get it—you’re trying to manifest your way out of that dusty basement, but you're just setting yourself up for a lament. You’re the human equivalent of a dilapidated concert hall playing Beethoven on repeat. Emo kids have come and gone, but your Spotify flavor could turn even the happiest anime character into a melancholy protagonist. So go ahead and keep embracing your eclectic taste, because at this rate, your social life is just a page-turn away from the next gripping tragedy.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!