Roasted 6 months ago based on Jake Sandy's long term Spotify stats.

Jake Sandy, huh? With that playlist, it’s clear you're a living shrine to every edgelord from the MySpace era. Your favorite genres read like a nostalgic trip through the dumpster behind a Hot Topic—rockin’ and glam metal, but I can’t help but wonder if the only thing that’s heavy here is your inability to move on from high school. I mean, come on, how much hairspray do you need to drown out the sound of reality? Your top artists are about as diverse as a White Castle menu. Rare Americans and Your Favorite Martian? Sounds like you’re stuck in a perpetual state of “It’s 2007 and chillin’ in my parents’ basement.” And let’s take a moment to appreciate “Monster” by Skillet—because nothing says “I’m a well-adjusted adult” like an anthem about angst and existential dread that could probably be repurposed for a mid-2000s emo TikTok. Seriously, the only thing more twisted than your music taste is the fact you genuinely think AJR belongs in the same conversation as Linkin Park. And don't even get me started on your most played songs! “Bad Piggies Theme” makes total sense now—who wouldn’t want to listen to the soundtrack of their life decisions reverberating through the void of your Spotify? I see you found the “Spooky Scary Skeletons” track; they’re not the only ones wondering why it’s Halloween every day in your auditory nightmare. If only your musical preferences matched the actual genre of “footsteps away from a midlife crisis." But hey, keep rocking out to your playlists, Jake! It must be nice finding solace in songs that age like milk while the rest of us experience music that evolves.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!