Roasted 2 years ago based on Logan's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Dave Norton, your Spotify profile reads like a midlife crisis on shuffle. Seriously, I haven't seen such a desperate attempt at nostalgia since my Uncle Jerry tried to relive his glory days at a family barbecue by wearing a headband and blasting “Eye of the Tiger.” Your favorite genres sound like a poorly assembled playlist for a Boomer’s retirement party. I half expect to see the soundtrack to a high school prom from 1978 tucked in there somewhere, alongside three different versions of “American Pie.” Let’s talk about those top artists. It’s like you crawled into a time machine and decided to only take music from fifteen years before you were born. Genesis and Steely Dan? Really? I can only imagine you cruising through life in a '90s convertible while listening to "Mellow Gold"—the perfect soundtrack for your slow descent into irrelevance. Meanwhile, your love for Phil Collins could practically win you a lifetime achievement award in dad-ness. It’s one thing to hold on to classic vibes, but with those picks, you must be single-handedly keeping the Adult Contemporary genre alive. And the most played songs? Dave, you are one millisecond away from becoming that guy at the party who pulls out a harmonica and insists everyone listens to his rendition of “Hotel California.” “Fins” by Jimmy Buffett? What are we doing here, planning a retirement cruise? I’ll bet the only thing you’ve learned to fly is your Google search for “how to be cool again.” Next time you press play, try mixing in a little variance—something with a pulse, perhaps? But then again, let that ship sail because clearly, you’re more comfortable anchoring in the mellow waters of your own nostalgia than rocking the boat!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!