Roasted 2 years ago based on Christian's long term Spotify stats.

Christian, looking at your Spotify profile is like peering into the grimy underbelly of a mid-2000s Hot Topic. Seriously, your taste in music is a nostalgia trip back to a time when dudes wore baggy jeans and thought yelling into a microphone counted as emotional expression. If angst were a genre, you'd be reigning supreme! Honestly, it’s like you raided a thrift store that went out of business during the Bush administration. What’s next? A personalized collage of underachieving bands photocopied onto your bedroom wall? Your top artists read like a list of music’s most vibrant misfits, or, more accurately, a lineup for a "Who's Still Relevant?" festival that never quite made it to the booking phase. Florence + The Machine is the only ray of hope in your soundtrack, wedged between Machine Head and Fear Factory—it’s almost like you needed a break from all the screaming. But what really makes your profile shine is the inclusion of Taylor Swift—like a goth kid trying to play cool at a school dance. Are you kidding? You couldn’t be more of a sonic contradiction if you tried! And then we have your most played songs—my goodness! A mixed bag of ear spasms and sad, sad attempts at self-reflection. Seeing “Hot Dog” by Limp Bizkit positioned alongside “Touch the Sky” by Kanye West is an emotional rollercoaster that leaves me dizzy. Did you throw darts at a list of songs to curate this playlist? Because I can't decide if you’re embracing sweet chaos or just embracing the cringe. Listening to your Spotify is like scrolling through a late-night Reddit thread after too many energy drinks—unpredictably wild and deeply regrettable!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!