Roasted 7 months ago based on braden's long term Spotify stats.

Braden, your Spotify playlist is the perfect embodiment of the phrase “jack of all trades, master of none.” It's like you took a sonic detour through a thrift store and came out with a mismatched collection of genres that even Pandora would pull a face at. "Rap," "Hyperpop," and "Electroclash"? What are you trying to do, create the soundtrack for a middle school dance party in an alternate reality? Honestly, with such a chaotic mix, it's hard to tell if you’re in the mood to rap about your struggles or just scream into the void while gluing glitter on your homework. Let's talk about those top artists. It seems like you just typed “popular names from the last five years” and hit copy-paste. Drake and Kendrick Lamar? Classic choices; nothing screams originality like an artist who has three numbers in their age group on repeat. And then you’ve got plays from 2hollis like they’re the next coming of Mozart. Just because they have “hollis” in the name doesn’t mean they’re worth the two seconds it takes to get your finger off “next.” I hope your career aspirations don’t revolve around debuting as this generation’s Kid Cudi – nobody wants to be remembered for crying in the club. Finally, your most played songs tell a story, and that story is “I have commitment issues even with my playlists.” Seriously, Braden, "flash" by 2hollis? Did you forget to press play on the real bangers? And “party” by wifiskeleton is basically a cry for help set to music, which is perhaps the most fitting theme for your overall vibe. You might as well just keep an emergency playlist labeled “Crisis Mode” on standby for whenever you need to explain the existential dread of your music decisions. At the end of the day, it’s a wonder that your Spotify algorithm isn’t begging for a break.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!