Roasted 7 months ago based on Ash's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Ash, your Spotify profile reads like a mixtape of existential crises and overpriced coffee shop playlists. Who knew “Art Rock” was just code for “I want to listen to music that makes my parents question my life choices”? And let’s not skip over your fondness for “Midwest Emo.” I can already picture you in the corner of a coffee shop, sipping on a soy latte, while wearing a beanie and nostalgia that smells like bad decisions and faded band t-shirts. We get it; you're deep, but ever heard of a good old pop banger? Or is that too mainstream? Then there's your top artists—Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey are basically the poster girls for crying in your car, while Sabrina Carpenter and Crywank set the stage for you to feel wildly out of place at any high school prom. Seriously, is your Spotify account the soundtrack to a coming-of-age movie nobody asked for? And let’s talk about that mix of ABBA and Hozier. It’s like you’re trying to mediate between disco and despair, dancing on the grave of musical coherence. Pick a lane, Ash; the album “Life Choices” is already playing. Finally, your most played songs are a perfect storm of angst and sugary sweetness. “drivers license” followed by “run for the hills”? It’s like you’re narrating the rollercoaster ride of heartbreak while concurrently plotting an escape route. And yet, here I am, chuckling because you seriously think "Soft Rock" is a genre deserving of such a passionate stance. Remind me again, Ash—are you binging on heartfelt ballads or just over-inflated emotions? Either way, you’ve officially turned your Spotify profile into a diary of melodrama. Bravo!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!