Roasted 6 months ago based on Jess's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Jess, your Spotify profile reads like the "About Me" section of a high school kid who just discovered niche genres to sound unique. Congratulations on being the only person in history who can simultaneously listen to Charli XCX's hyperpop and Taylor Swift's breakup ballads without experiencing an identity crisis. You’ve got such a wide array of favorite genres that it’s like you’re trying to cover up the fact that you only actually enjoy screaming in your car while pretending you're at a concert. Let’s talk about your most played songs, which could honestly be a single called "Charli xcx – The Compilation Album." I mean, it’s impressive how you’ve managed to listen to four different tracks by the same artist more often than anyone’s ever bothered to listen to their entire discography. Do you even own a remote or a pause button? Can we establish a support group for “people who over-navigate their Spotify just to avoid listening to the same song twice” or are you too busy pretending your life is one giant indie music video for actual meta irony? And let's not get started on your top artists. Rihanna and Beyoncé are basically the queens of your playlist while Barry Can't Swim contemplates whether he'll ever get invited to the same brunch. Your taste is as eclectic as a thrift store in a hipster neighborhood, but at least it’s not boring, right? So, here's to you, Jess—you truly are the shining star of attempt versus execution in the world of music, and we respect that. Now, do us all a favor and at least consider listening to an artist who isn’t on the verge of being everyone's guilty pleasure.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!