Roasted 1 year ago based on Shea Spiess's long term Spotify stats.

Shea Spiess, your Spotify profile reads like a highbrow "This Is Your Life" episode, where the guests are all sleep-deprived professors who think “going wild” means ordering Greek yogurt instead of plain. Seriously, your favorite genres could be a perfect soundtrack for when libraries are trying to put their patrons to sleep! With a dizzying array of classical and chamber music titles, one can only assume your ideal weekend involves debating the nuances of the cello strings over a cup of chamomile tea. I’m surprised you don’t have ‘Snooze’ as a top artist! As for your top artists, it’s like you gathered every musician that Mr. Rogers ever introduced on his show! You’ve literally created the soundtrack for a senior citizen’s art class. Look, I get it; Yo-Yo Ma and Leonard Bernstein are legends, but you’ve got Sammy Rae & The Friends thrown in there like a confused toddler in a museum. Can’t you just admit to yourself that Taylor Swift is the rebellious quotient in your classical bubble? It's like putting a cherry on a broccoli sundae—out of place and confusing for everyone involved. And then there are your most played songs, which range from "Nocturne No. 1" to "Waltz Of The Flowers." Who hurt you, Shea? Did you miss a lot of parties in college because you were too busy listening to Rachmaninoff while counting the number of violins in a symphony? You’ve somehow managed to make adulting seem even more boring than it already is. So, here’s a thought: even classical music has its wild side—next time, skip the requiem and play something that doesn’t sound like a funeral setting. Let’s see if you can have a good time without turning into an 85-year-old in a cardigan!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!