Roasted 9 months ago based on megan🌙's long term Spotify stats.

Megan, your Spotify profile reads like the diary entries of a high school kid who just discovered eyeliner and probably has a flannel collection rivaling that of a small lumberjack town. Seriously, "Nu Metal"? That’s your jam? I didn’t realize “angsty teenage boy yelling into a mic” had become a life philosophy for you. And with a favorite genre list that reads like a survey of every quintessential phase of a goth kid's life, I’m convinced we’re one mixtape away from you having a mid-life crisis at 25. Then we have your top artists, showcasing your unique ability to straddle the line between “I still use my MySpace” vibes and “I can’t wait for Therapy Tuesday.” Taylor Swift alongside System of a Down? That's a crossover I never knew I needed. Like, do you sing “All Too Well” while headbanging? You’ve got the emotional depth of a puddle but the music taste of someone who repeatedly reminds you that “it’s just a phase.” To make things worse, you can't even decide if you're a pop princess or a metalhead, so you probably just end up awkwardly moshing at the local coffee shop while sipping on your pumpkin spice latte. And then there's your most played songs, which sound like the soundtrack to a bad teen drama that even Netflix wouldn’t green-light. What’s with the obsession with "Turnstile"? Are you trying to be the poster child for “I ironically like aggressive music, but actually, I just want to twirl my hair and post selfies”? Call me when your Spotify bio includes “I swear I’m not sad, I just like my music really, really loud!”—then we can talk about your identity crisis. Until then, stay blessed and keep your flannels nearby; they’ll be necessary for the next emotional rollercoaster you’ve curated for yourself!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!