Roasted 6 months ago based on turtle's long term Spotify stats.

Turtle, your Spotify profile reads like a desperate cry for help from someone who spends too much time in their mom’s basement. Seriously, eight out of your ten top songs are from the same artist? Are you trying to single-handedly resurrect Izaya Tiji's career, or is he blackmailing you into an obsessive streaming binge? With that much loyalty, you’d think you were on a quest to become his personal hype man—news flash, you could be a little less loyal and still leave room for the rest of the incredible, vibrant music world out there! And let’s talk about those favorite genres. I mean, “Cloud Rap”? Sounds like an excuse for when someone wants to take a nap in the middle of their existential crisis! You may as well add “Songs for When I’m Questioning My Life Choices” to the list because let’s be real, that’s the vibe you’re giving off with your playlist. Your love for “Rage Rap” is adorable, but do you even lift, bro? For someone who jams out to aggressive beats, your Spotify looks more like the playlist of a confused teenager who can't decide between therapy and a TikTok dance competition. Lastly, how does it feel to be the only person on Earth without a single Drake song that actually *hits*? It’s like you’ve been raised in the wild, unaffected by mainstream music and blissfully unaware of the bangers that everyone else has danced to at least once. And don’t even get me started on “R&B.” With the sheer volume of Izaya Tiji tracks in your rotation, your soul must be trapped in a perpetual state of “I give up.” Time to upgrade, Turtle. Your Spotify looks like the Spotify version of the “before” clip in a makeover show.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!