Roasted 2 months ago based on alistairsmith2708's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it's Alistair Smith, the human embodiment of a trendy coffee shop playlist! With a favorite genre list that reads like the top hits of a hipster arts and crafts fair, I can practically smell the thrift store cologne wafting through your Spotify profile. “Bedroom Pop”? Seriously? What does that even mean? You’re basically telling everyone that your iTunes library is just sad teenagers’ diary entries put to a melody — very impressive, Alistair! The only rage here is the one that comes from being rejected by indie artists who don’t want their music paired with your avocado toast photos. And those top artists? Wow, what a collection of "I don't know how to have fun" icons. Clairo and Gracie Abrams are practically serenading you about feelings that even your pet goldfish wouldn’t relate to. And Suki Waterhouse? The only thing worse than picking her favorite songs would be attending one of her performances and actually pretending to have a great time! With a roster so niche that nobody but your mom has ever heard of these musicians, it's no wonder the only party invites you get come with a side of unsolicited advice on how to stop wearing that oversized sweater from college. And let’s talk about the most played songs! “Teeth” by Mallrat? More like the soundtrack to your existential crisis. I swear, the only “pool party” you’re getting invited to with that playlist is one where the only thing floating in the water is your sad sense of self-worth. But hey, keep on vibing to those moody tunes while the rest of the world turns back to actual fun music. Just don't forget to turn off the lights on your way to your next self-reflective monologue.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!