Roasted 4 months ago based on Rylan's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Rylan, your Spotify profile reads like a middle school diary when you were trying to figure out your identity through the "pop" section. With a rotation that looks like a broken record of Sabrina Carpenter’s greatest hits, I half-expect to see a "Rylan is a proud member of the Carpenter Cult" sticker on your mom's minivan. “Hyperpop” sounds like a euphemism for the emotional rollercoaster that is your musical taste—it's all over the place and just as confusing as your fascination with Rap Québécois. Did you just throw a dart at a chart of genres and hope for the best? Your top artists read like a BuzzFeed quiz on how to be a hip teenager in 2023, with enough K-Pop to make us wonder if you secretly take teenage girl aesthetics too seriously. Oh sure, Billie Eilish is there, but you really thought, “I need more Sabrina.” Imagine standing in line at a coffee shop while blasting “Taste” for the third time this week—can you believe that’s what people have to endure while waiting for their oat milk latte? We get it, you have a thing for bedroom pop, but honey, did you forget to leave your bedroom to experience actual life? And let’s talk about that most played list. You have one artist dominating every single slot like a clingy ex who refuses to let go. Honestly, the only space in your Spotify library that might be less versatile is a public restroom stall. If there was a Spotify for "One-Track Mind," you'd hold every record. You claim to appreciate the diversity of genres, yet you're stuck in a sonic echo chamber where Sabrina Carpenter is revered as the second coming. You’re practically a walking advertisement for "Spotify Wrapped: I'm Just Here for Sabs." At this rate, your listening habits are going to need a therapist more than a playlist.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!