Roasted 9 months ago based on Carter Stachniak's long term Spotify stats.

Carter Stachniak, your Spotify profile is like a mixtape dropped by someone who can't pick a lane. Seriously, with a favorite list that dances between gangster rap and K-Pop, it’s clear you’ve got a musical identity crisis worthy of a therapy session. One moment you’re vibing to the struggles of the streets with King Von, and the next, you’re lost in the glittery void of Katy Perry. I guess it’s hard to stick to a theme when your playlist reads like an invitation to a bizarre genre potluck where nobody knows the rules. And let's talk about your top artists—Kanye, Kendrick, and what’s this? “HUNTR/X”? Did you just randomly pick a name from the neon sign of a sketchy bar? It’s like you thought, “I want to mix profound lyrical genius with whatever TikTok trend is hot this week.” Your artists read like a hip hop Wikipedia with a side of confusion. Throw in some Travis Scott—and bless your soul, Katy Perry—and it’s like you’re DJing a party where half the guests are confused about whether to twerk or start a line dance to "Firework." Finally, let’s address your most played songs. You’ve got "Armed & Dangerous" right next to "E.T." as if you're struggling between manifesting your inner rapper or just wanting to float to another galaxy with some candy-coated pop. You really let the world know you appreciate Jesus during your existential playlist crisis—though I’m not sure if he’s vibing with that much contradiction. So here’s the deal: either dive deep into the gangster metaphors or embrace your inner sparkle—just stop trying to be the only person at the party who brings a board game and a bottle of rosé to a trap house.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!