Roasted 2 years ago based on Adam Dykes's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it's Adam Dykes—the living Spotify equivalent of a midlife crisis in a teen’s body. Your taste in music is more predictable than a romcom plot twist. Congratulations, you've successfully turned your listening habits into a tribute to your own indecision. Modern rock, indie rock, and the fact that you’ve somehow managed to fit Taylor Swift into every other category is impressive, like if a chameleon lost its ability to change colors and just decided to go with "default." And let’s talk about “Crank Wave.” What’s that, a genre exclusively for people who just crank their Windows Media Player up to 11 and call it a day? Your top artists are like a sad indie band’s playlist at a coffee shop where no one is actually doing homework—full of meant-to-be-cool names and yet depressingly relatable. You’ve got the sonic masterpiece that is The Cure, next to “Taylor Swizzle,” who’s managing to get more airplay than all of those so-called ‘alternative’ artists combined. You know your taste is questionable when “Dead Love Triangle” sounds like a sad attempt to rebrand an emo band you found on MySpace in 2009. You could challenge even the most hardcore hipsters to find a better way to lose their credibility, but I suspect they wouldn't accommodate such a modern tragedy. And then we come to your most played songs, which is basically a “How to Cry in the Shower” playlist. You officially have enough Taylor Swift songs to start a camp for sad boys reeling from breakups. “Delicate”? More like your entire character, buddy. With that mix of pop and “garage rock,” I can only assume you’re taking a long drive through existential dread while questioning your life choices, laughing at how loud you play the tracks in your mom's minivan. Now crack open a LaCroix, and prepare to pretend any of this is deep. Newsflash: it’s not. Enjoy your vibes, Adam, but don’t forget to live a little outside of Spotify’s curated tracks.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!