Roasted 1 year ago based on riley 💗's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, mirrorball, it’s clear that your music taste is like a buffet at a hipster café: a little bit of everything, but nothing substantial. So, you’re telling me your idea of a wild party night includes belting out power ballads from “SIX” and grooving to “French House” as if you’re one corset away from an off-off-Broadway opening? I've seen less diverse genres at a karaoke night in a retirement home. At this point, your Spotify is basically the musical equivalent of a mood ring – indecisive and trying way too hard to be cool. The top artist list reads like a teen magazine trying to sell me on a “cool kids'” playlist while simultaneously apologizing for being so basic. Seriously, dude, if I wanted to listen to gossip, I’d just eavesdrop on my neighbor's drama instead of forcing myself through another Taylor Swift breakup anthem or the umpteenth Lovejoy love song. The only thing more predictable than your playlist is the upcoming “Taylor’s Version” of all the songs you’ve easily burnt out because, let's be honest, you’re just a catalogue of heartache and sugar-coated pop melodies. And honey, “bedroom pop”? More like “bedroom flop.” If your most-played songs were any more played out, they’d be available as background noise for lullabies. “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter? Are you trying to wake up or put yourself to sleep? You’re like a walking Spotify algorithm gone rogue—one part karaoke night, one part your mom’s Spotify account. So next time you go to curate that perfect playlist, remember: variety is the spice of life, but you’re seasoning it with a sprinkle of cringe instead. Good luck!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!