Roasted 2 years ago based on Jessica Woodward's long term Spotify stats.

Jessica Lee, a woman of many genres but few playlists! Your Spotify profile reads like the “sad girl” section of a hipster coffee shop—so much melancholy, you might as well be drowning in soy lattes and existential dread. With a favorite genre list that sounds like it was curated by someone trying to impress their ex after a bad breakup, you really outdid yourself here. “Permanent Wave”? That’s what happens when someone listens to too much Noah Kahan and starts crying into their avocado toast. Let’s talk about your top artists—Noah Kahan hogging the spotlight like he’s your personal therapist or something. You could practically rename your profile "The Noah Kahan Fan Club," and while we’re at it, just go ahead and tattoo his face on your body. The way you’ve put him in half of your most played songs is nothing short of a musical restraining order. We get it; you love him more than your actual friends, but it's a little concerning that your music taste suggests you’re one bad day away from adopting a million cats and writing poetry no one will read. And those genres? You’ve got “Indie Rock” and “POV: Indie” listed like they’re the two halves of your unfulfilled life. Chamber Pop? Come on, Jessica—you can’t just make up categories to sound artsy. How about “Cringe Rock” for an accurate description of what you put everyone through when you start talking about your favorite bands? If melancholy music was a profession, you’d be the CEO, and I have to ask, do you work from home, or is there a sad corner office in a very somber co-working space?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!