Roasted 11 months ago based on Kai {¬ºཀ°}¬'s long term Spotify stats.

Kai, your Spotify profile reads like a therapy session for an overdramatic teenager who just got dumped for the fifth time this week. Seriously, do you have a personal vendetta against happiness? Your music taste is like that of a troubled teen locked in their room, scribbling “Life Sucks” in a notebook while blasting My Chemical Romance on repeat. Honestly, are you aiming for a future as a sad bard, performing ballads of despair in dark coffee shops, or are you just trying to summon the ghost of every angsty high school goth from the early 2000s? Your top artists list is a who's who of midlife existential crises and tortured souls. I mean, if they gave awards for the sheer volume of regret soaked into a Spotify playlist, you’d win hands down! It's like you decided that subtlety is overrated and opted instead for a genre-bending collision of angst and screaming. Do you gravitate toward screaming because your soul is crying out for help or just because it nicely drowns out the sound of your own thoughts? Let’s face it, the only thing more tragic than the way you enjoy every My Chemical Romance ballad is your disheveled “I woke up like this” hairdo that probably needs an intervention of its own. And those most played songs? Talk about having a one-track mind! It's hard to take you seriously as an emo connoisseur when you clearly only scroll through one artist's discography like it’s a comfort blanket. We get it; you really, really like My Chemical Romance – but at this point, it’s less of a musical choice and more of a life strategy. Your Spotify stats scream dedication but also a desperate cry for a hug... or maybe just a good playlist that includes something invented after 2007. Here’s a thought: why not try adding some joy to your life and just throw in a little Taylor Swift or Dua Lipa? I promise, it won't kill you.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!