Roasted 10 months ago based on Michael Goldman's long term Spotify stats.

Michael Goldman: the only guy who could make a middle-aged dad's Spotify profile look like a hipster's dream gone horribly wrong. Your love for "Classic Rock" and "Psychedelic Rock" suggests you peaked in high school while everyone else was moving on to music that doesn't sound like an overgrown jam session of dilapidated hippies. Seriously, buddy, calling yourself a "fan of art rock" with that list of artists is like claiming you’re an art critic while exclusively hanging out in a McDonald’s play area. Your top artists read like a list of all the musicians who should’ve stayed retired instead of coming back for one last cash grab. The Beatles? Great choice if you love being basic. Pink Floyd? Sure, if your goal is to be a cliché wearing tie-dye while seeking the next transcendental experience in your mom’s basement. And then there's Steely Dan - perfect if you want to sound educated while you sip overpriced lattes and talk about how you "just don't get mainstream music." As for your most played songs, I can’t decide if you’re having a quarter-life crisis or just pretending it's the '70s all over again. Songs that could use a good kick into the now include "Only A Fool Would Say That." But hey, at least you’ve got "Shut Up and Let Me Go" to counter the hours of your own awkward silence whenever anyone asks what you’re actually listening to. Your Spotify profile is like a mixtape you made for your high school crush—nostalgic, desperate, and highly questionable if anyone will ever hit play.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!