Roasted 6 months ago based on Justin's long term Spotify stats.

Justin, your Spotify profile reads like a cry for help dipped in melodrama and set to a soundtrack that even the ghost of your former self would cringe at. I mean, really? Trap Metal and Horrorcore right next to Dream Pop? Your music tastes are as confused as a cat in a dog park, like you're on a quest to collect every bad decision and endorsement of depression possible. If variety is the spice of life, then your playlist is a heaping pile of expired seasoning—you’ve got more genres than you have friends, and that’s saying something. Let’s talk about your top artists. “Do not resurrect”? Sounds like a warning label, which you clearly ignored when selecting your faves. With a roster of musicians that includes more lowercase letters and obscure names than an indie bookstore, I’m half-expecting to find your next favorite to be an abominable snowman doing avant-garde experimental jazz. And let’s not get started on Warlord Colossus—his name sounds like a middle school Dungeons & Dragons character but I can only assume his musical ability is as nonexistent as your social life. Congrats on that killer combination of genius and questionable life choices! Your most played songs are a delightful glimpse into your tumultuous psyche: "KILL THEM," "FCKED," and "Grudge Match" all lined up like your therapy session was set to a playlist. It’s almost like you’re trying to curate the soundtrack for your own horror movie, complete with jump scares and existential dread. But, hey, at least you've got your melancholic ballads to cry over, or should I say, "emote"? Just remember, the only thing more tragic than your choices in music is the sound of your roommate trying to “vibe” to your playlist—cue the eye rolls. Keep up the racket, Justin; it sounds like the perfect background music for your life’s train wreck!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!