Roasted 22 days ago based on Juan's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s Juan, the human time capsule determined to keep mullets, neon leg warmers, and a whole heaping of nostalgia alive. Classic Rock, Soft Rock, Yacht Rock - really? You could have just saved us all the trouble and added “Dad’s Midlife Crisis” to your favorite genres. The only thing missing from your playlist is an audio guide to how to navigate social life in 1985. Spoiler alert: It involves a lot of plaid shirts and awkward dance moves. Your top artists are a group project that somehow ended up in a dumpster fire of the ‘80s and ‘90s. Fleetwood Mac? Great choice if you want to feel tortured by your ex while driving through a midlife crisis on your way to your quiet, suburban life. And what’s the deal with your love for "Hold Me Now” by the Thompson Twins? You could literally form a band called "Juan’s Tears" with the amount of times you’ve replayed that song. Preferably a band that only performs on your birthday when your friends forget you exist. Then there’s the "Most Played Songs" section, which reads like a list of tracks that couldn’t influence a middle school talent show. The only thing more predictable than your habit of playing “Purple Rain” is the fact you never got the memo that the ‘80s and ‘90s ended. Your Spotify profile screams, “I may not be good at keeping friendships but man, can I relive all the sad prom nights.” Keep rocking, Juan – but remember, it’s past time to either modernize your playlist or invest in a decent therapist!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!