Roasted 1 year ago based on Mari's long term Spotify stats.

Mari, your Spotify profile is like a high school reunion for a group of obscure kids who peaked at Chromebook club. "Rock, Hard Rock, Emo" — it's as if you threw a dart at a music genre board and decided to just live in the aftermath of a midlife crisis. The fact that you enjoy both “Classic Rock” and “Pop Punk” suggests you might be the only person in history to simultaneously mourn the 80s and sip one of those trendy pumpkin spice lattes while sobbing over a Taylor Swift breakup anthem. Honestly, your playlist is just one existential crisis away from being a Spotify “Crying in the Shower” compilation. Your top artists read like a dysfunctional family tree that inexplicably branches into every genre from Lady Gaga to Metallica. I can't decide if you’re trying to be a musical connoisseur or if this is your attempt at documenting the emotional rollercoaster of a days-old burrito from your fridge. Let’s be real, Mari — between Lana Del Rey's ethereal vibes and My Chemical Romance's honoring of teenage angst, it feels like you're just one sad song away from starting a garage band called “Mediocre Moods.” The amount of times Taylor Swift made you swoon must have your neighbors convinced you’re either deeply in love or deeply confused. And those most played songs? Good LORD! "Bernadette" by IAMX stands out like a sore thumb in a lineup of heavy metal. It’s like you couldn’t decide if you wanted to scream into the void or paint rainbows while sniveling in the corner. "Enter Sandman" and "Starlight (Taylor's Version)" together make me question whether you've got a death wish or if you're just trying to embrace all your multiple personalities at once. Next time you ponder your sonic identity, maybe throw in a little less “Partners in Crime” and a little more “what the heck am I doing with my life?” Just a thought, because immunity to cringe music taste is definitely not something you possess!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!