Roasted 2 months ago based on ethanrg_'s long term Spotify stats.

Ethan, you’ve got a Spotify profile as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. Seriously, your favorite genres read like the whims of a hipster who can’t decide if he wants to sip an artisanal espresso or chug a protein shake. One minute you’re vibing to "rap" with Future, and the next you’re cozying up with “Bossa Nova.” Are you trying to create a musical world tour for a bored cat? Because I'm starting to think you’re one short trip to Brazil away from just wearing a beret and quoting Rachmaninoff at brunch. And can we talk about that top artist list? You’ve got the essentials - Drake and J. Cole for some street cred, and then you spring Kenny Mason on us like he’s the secret ingredient in your mediocre smoothie recipe. Meanwhile, you sneak in the legendary António Carlos Jobim, like no one’s going to notice you’re having an existential crisis while blasting progressive metal right after you chill out to a complex cello concerto. Your playlists sound like the soundtrack of a series of unfortunate events trying to get their life together. But let’s really dig into those most played songs, shall we? You have the audacity to jam out to “Pure Gamma Binaural Beats” while simultaneously pretending to be refined with Elgar. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you're just trying to cover up your terrible taste in music by adding a pinch of classical seasoning. It’s like putting gourmet cheese on a microwaved burrito; it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still just a snack gone wrong. Get it together, Ethan – your music choices are crying for help!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!