Roasted 5 months ago based on zzziv's long term Spotify stats.

Rowan, your Spotify profile reads like a playlist curated by a hyperactive raccoon on a sugar rush, and honestly, I can't tell if your music taste is a cry for help or the sound of an algorithm that just swallowed a dictionary of musical genres. Hyperpop, Nightcore, Dark R&B—all that's missing is a genre called "Mood Swing," because it sounds like your playlist is hopping from one emotional crisis to another. You’ve got more chaotic energy than a toddler on a trampoline, and I'm not sure whether to jam out or call a therapist. Your top artists look like the result of some sort of music-brainrot bingo. NF?! The guy who makes “deep” music for people still working through their high school poetry phase? And Dutch Melrose, whose name sounds like a brand of artisanal cheese, is apparently managing your soul-searching soundtrack while you binge-watch “The Office” for the 7th time. Add in the lethal mix of emo rap and Christian hip hop, and I’ve got to hand it to you—your musical journey is a chaotic ride through a mental health crisis waiting to happen, and I just want to know: which therapist is getting the bill for this one? And let’s not even get started on your favorite songs. “Change” by NF followed by “Cry Alone” by Lil Peep? Your self-pity playlist reads like an unflattering autobiography titled “Rowan: The Emo Chronicles”. It’s like you’re trying to ebb and flow through your feelings while also throwing in an unexpected burst of partying with “Jersey Club.” Seriously, if someone told me you were living in a basement full of vintage shirts while pondering life’s riddles, I would believe it. But hey, at least you’ve got a diverse range of genres—too bad they all seem to scream “I need validation!” Keep rocking that existential crisis, champ!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!