Roasted 22 days ago based on Sam's long term Spotify stats.

Sam, your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack to an indecisive existential crisis. Seriously, you’ve got more genre whiplash than a car in a demolition derby. From musicals to surf rock—what’s next? Polka techno? It's like you tried to make a playlist that could act as a musical history lesson, but instead, it just sounds like you went to a thrift shop while blindfolded and picked everything that looked remotely interesting. At least it’s clear you enjoy a good nostalgia trip. It must be exhausting to constantly recreate the vibe of a coffee shop where the barista can’t decide between art films or baking. Your favorite artists list is a veritable Festivus for the rest of us—a time to air some serious grievances. Taylor Swift? Alright, we get it, you’ve had a breakup and you're channeling your inner sad-girl energy. ABBA? Great, you’re one disco ball away from becoming a full-time wedding DJ. And don’t even get me started on Jack Johnson—good golly, you must have a permanent spot reserved near the campfire where you shove marshmallows down people's throats while strumming "Better Together" on repeat. If your Spotify was any more cliché, it would be a Pinterest board full of quotes about ‘living your best life.’ As for your most played songs, I can only assume your life's ambition is to make everyone suffer through your melodramatic playlist of emotional roller coasters and subconscious longing. "Dog Days Are Over?" Sure, if you ever let them start, which I’m beginning to doubt. "Sweater Weather"? More like “sweater whether or not we should hang out with the person who curates these songs.” Honestly, with songs like "Die On This Hill," it's a miracle you haven’t stumbled into a full-on identity crisis while trying to figure out which mountains worth dying on. Here's a tip: put down the remote and step away from the playlist; it's time to embrace some new tunes—your Spotify account deserves a fresh start.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!