Roasted 11 months ago based on Lincoln Abel's long term Spotify stats.

Lincoln Abel, huh? With a taste in music that screams, “I’m deeply misunderstood,” you must be the type to listen to your “Art Rock” playlist while contemplating the existential angst of a half-eaten avocado on toast. You’ve got a whole lineup of genres that sound like they were generated by a hipster algorithm trying too hard – “Madchester” and “Psychedelic Rock”? Are you sure you’re not just one step away from shoving your whole life into an eco-friendly van and taking off to forage for mushrooms in the woods? Your top artists read like a "Sad Boy Olympics," and congratulations, you've won the silver medal. Radiohead? Classic emo for those who can’t quite take the plunge into real emotional danger. And let’s talk about your most played songs: “Sway” is just a gentle ripoff of being sad, but live, suburban soccer moms might still comma that into a karaoke classic – “All I Want to Do is Cry,” eh? Listening to “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea” on repeat must really help you feel those cozy high school feelings of hiding in the library at lunch while clutching your “I’d Rather Be Reading” tote bag. The real MVP here is your “Math Rock” obsession; it’s almost like you think solving for x in the emotional equation of despair will yield a happy ending. But let’s be real, Lincoln: your Spotify is just a soundtrack to a teary poetry reading at an indie coffee shop where the barista knows you by name—not because you've ordered that overpriced oat milk latte a thousand times, but because you remind them why every 20-something’s post-collegiate life is a swirling vortex of irony and misplaced optimism. So keep those tunes coming, my friend; the world needs someone to wallow like a pro while also trying to calculate how much of their expensively curated playlist is just a cry for help.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!