Roasted 11 months ago based on Cole's long term Spotify stats.

Cole, your Spotify profile reads like a middle school diary of a wannabe music critic with a severe identity crisis. I mean, "Hyperpop," "Art Pop," and then we suddenly have "Punk" thrown in like a random twist in a bad screenplay? Come on, you can’t just slap ‘punk’ on there to give yourself some street cred while you're comfortably nestled in the clouds of "Dream Pop" and "Indie." At this point, I expect your favorite artist to be a cartoon character singing about love and existential dread while a synth and a guitar battle in the background — oh wait, that’s basically your playlist. Now, let’s talk about your top artists. Charli XCX and Rêve – wow, it’s like you’ve curated a collection of tracks for a tearful TikTok montage about your last breakup that wouldn’t even faze your 13-year-old niece. And what do you want us to think with “Punk” right next to “Indie Punk” as if two entries make up your entire “attack” of the rock genre? If you were any more niche, you'd be a side character in a documentary about obscure music tastes—somewhere between a hipster gallery and a sad coffee shop where everyone's too busy scrolling Instagram to actually listen to your playlists. Speaking of playlists, your most played songs are almost exclusively from Rêve, and I'm starting to think "Contemporary Love" is your mantra, particularly for that crush that still doesn’t know you exist. Trying to impress someone with "Disco At The Strip Club"? Bro, what are you, a futuristic Romeo in a dystopian world where everyone only listens to the same six-themes-of-2023 playlists? Keep playing those tracks while dragging along your vibe-less entourage; you’re not just dreaming, you’re definitely “Shoegazing” through life!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!