Roasted 9 months ago based on Mollie Skogen's long term Spotify stats.

Mollie Skogen, the proud curator of the most eclectic playlist for people who claim to love "variety!" Your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack of a midlife crisis happening at a farmer's market. Let’s be real: your top genres should be "Heartbreak," "Sad Acoustic," and "Trying to Enjoy Life but Crying in the Shower." If your playlist was a person, it would constantly be wearing flannel, sipping herbal tea, and throwing around terms like "vibes" while secretly Googling how to start a podcast about depression. Your top artists are basically the musical equivalent of a very confused potluck dinner. Who decided Hans Zimmer needed to be in the same room as Taylor Swift and counting crows? One minute, you're winding through the lush fields of indie folk with Lizzy McAlpine; the next, you're stuck on a slow ride through the cornfields of Alt Country, wishing you brought a friend who could appreciate your strange mix of artistic choices. And those most played songs? You really splashed around in the "sad yet soothing" pool and left everyone wondering if we should pack you a lunch or call a therapist. It’s all fun and games until we realize your music taste screams, "I’m trying to find meaning in a life that involves too many trips to the refrigerator and existential dread." If I wanted to hear that much devotion to folk and counsel from a sad guitar, I'd just go sit in my grandma's living room. You might want to branch out; it's 2023, and you don't have to choose between crying alone and feeling your feelings. Just remember, Cornfield Chase might be a banger, but it also sounds an awful lot like how the last person chewed you out in a one-sided argument!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!