Roasted 9 months ago based on Howie's long term Spotify stats.

Howie, your Spotify profile is like a teenage diary written by someone who thinks wearing black nail polish is a lifestyle choice. Emo rap? Melodic rap? Rap rap? Honestly, at this point, you’re just one mixtape away from adding “crying while eating pizza in my mom’s basement” to your bio. Your taste in music reads like a list of songs perfect for a mid-2020s heartthrob character in an edgy rom-com: all sad vibes, no life skills. Congratulations on being the poster child for emotional pain that hasn’t learned how to function in society. Scrolling through your top artists is like descending into a sad, soundproof cavern of angst. “White Noise Radiance” sits at the top, and I’m honestly starting to wonder if your playlist is just a compilation of every sound someone makes while being utterly defeated by life. I guess when you can’t find the motivation to get out of bed, listening to a continuous loop of rain sounds really helps capture the essence of your non-existent social life. And what’s up with “SadBoyProlific”? Is this even a real artist, or are you just pulling names out of a hat of stereotypes? And can we talk about your song choices? “Everybody Dies In Their Nightmares”? Sounds like a solid contender for your personal theme song. You're living proof that music taste is inversely proportional to happiness. With your listens bordering on an emotional support animal for your existential dread, it’s amazing you didn’t wind up with a “Life Is Pain” playlist as your most played. Hopefully, your love for “death bed” doesn’t translate to actual life goals; otherwise, I’m sending a wellness check your way.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!