Roasted 4 days ago based on alyssa's long term Spotify stats.

Alyssa, your Spotify profile reads like the emotional rollercoaster of a teenager’s diary. We’ve got K-Pop and Dark R&B on the same list—are you trying to embody every major hormonal conflict or just seeking a musical identity crisis?! I can't help but imagine you crying over a Justin Bieber love ballad while simultaneously throwing your hands up to ENHYPEN. It’s like you opened a Pinterest board of vibes, but forgot to hit the ‘delete’ button for every genre that gives off "who hurt you?" energy. As for your most played songs, it’s a solid mix of relationship whiplash and, let’s be honest, unrequited love. You’ve got Chris Brown as your go-to artist? Don’t even act like you aren’t inviting some drama into your life. “Angel Numbers / Ten Toes”? Honey, the only thing more confused than your music taste is your dating history! You know it's time to switch it up when "break up with your girlfriend, I'm bored" is on repeat. Are you living in a rom-com or just trying to manifest your next bad decision? And let’s talk about that artist lineup. Tate McRae and Drake in your top five? It seems like your Spotify is throwing a hissy fit about who can make you cry harder. With all that indie-pop as the cherry on top, your playlist is basically a sonic shrine to emotional instability. So, why don’t you just lean into it, Alyssa? Embrace your musical schizophrenia—maybe even create a genre called “Melodramatic Pop” just for you!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!