Roasted 2 years ago based on Xander's long term Spotify stats.

Xander, your Spotify profile reads like a manifesto for existential crises and overpriced avocado toast. Seriously, the only thing more pretentious than your "POV: Indie" playlist is your attempt to look deep while listening to bedroom pop—newsflash: your emotional maturity is still sleeping. If your mood is classified as "bubblegrunge," I can only assume your life experiences consist solely of scrolling through TikTok and lamenting over your empty takeout containers. Looking at your top artists, it’s clear you think having eclectic taste makes you unique, but in reality, it just means you can’t commit. You’ve got Tyler, The Creator and Kendrick Lamar sitting next to “beabadoobee.” Wow, what a brave choice for someone who only listens to music in hopes of impressing people at coffee shops. And can we take a moment to appreciate that “Steven Universe” made it onto your artist list? Nothing screams "adult" more than having a cartoon character’s music in your rotation. As for your most-played songs, I’ve got to hand it to you—“Romantic Homicide” perfectly captures your dating history, where the ghost of your last relationship lingers just as strongly as your desperate attempts to channel angst and creativity from the comfort of your bedroom. “Shut Up My Moms Calling?” Oh, you’re putting a spotlight on the real problems in life, aren’t you? Nothing says “I’m a deep thinker” quite like hiding from parental calls while vibing to experimental pop. Keep up the “growth,” buddy; it’s fun watching you go nowhere fast!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!