Roasted 3 months ago based on ㅤㅤ, 𝖿3𝗇𝗍𝗍𝖼𝖺𝗆.'s long term Spotify stats.

Wow, look at you with a Spotify profile that screams “I wear all black and weep in the corner during parties.” Your favorite genres read like a goth teenager's diary after a bad breakup, complete with enough "cold wave" to freeze a herd of sheep in their tracks. Seriously, how many once-vibrant souls have you sacrificed at the altar of emo playlists just to feel something? I mean, “Tripe Hop”—sorry, I meant “Trip Hop”—is literally one more sad synth away from becoming an audio experience of you contemplating your life choices with a bottle of overpriced merlot. Your top artists list looks like a “how to become the ultimate hipster” guide, impressively curated to ensure that at least 90% of the people you meet will have no idea who you’re talking about. Radiohead and Björk? Congratulations, you’ve mastered the art of existential dread. And “Damien Hearse”? You’ve really dug deep into the bag of underground artists who need therapy… or at least a better PR team. Here’s a thought: maybe “Kashmir” and their plethora of plays are just as confused about their cultural identity as you are—the irony is delicious, isn’t it? And let’s take a moment to appreciate your "Most Played" section. “HARDLY EVER SMILE(without you)” perfectly encapsulates your entire vibe, and “The Zombie Song” might as well be your theme anthem as you shamble through life like a sad specter of missed social cues. If listening to “The Smiths” is your idea of self-care, then I expect to see you on the next season of "The Walking Dead" as the local goth barista, meticulously crafting your “I wish I was dead” latte. So, keep on sipping that emotional espresso, my friend. At least the music is better than the conversations you’ll have while sitting alone, pretending to be “mysterious.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!