Roasted 2 years ago based on David DeGrandpre's long term Spotify stats.

Oh David DeGrandpre, your Spotify profile looks like a hipster farmer's market threw up on a banjo. Seriously, if your music taste got any more niche, it would start charging cover at the local bookstore's poetry reading. Jam Band? Progressive Bluegrass? It’s like you just Googled "Most Pretentious Genres" and hit the jackpot. The only thing missing is your artisanal non-GMO, gluten-free granola recipe to go with that jam, and trust me, I could hear the crickets louder than your Spotify playlists. Imagine walking into a party and your vibe is a blend of a scruffy two-week festival-goer and like, an over-caffeinated guide to obscure Americana. With "lost lover's eyes," is it too harsh to say they probably left because they couldn't handle another one of your "Dissect the Bird (Live)" rants? Your most played songs list looks like an indie coffee shop’s playlist that you play when trying way too hard to seem interesting. It's okay buddy, we all know the only things “flying” in your life are your questionable music choices and the few friends who still stick around out of pity. And can we chat about your top artists? You’ve basically assembled a supergroup of musicians so offbeat that they make a triple-crocheted cardigan look mainstream. It’s either your Spotify profile or an audition for a reality show called "Who Can Jam the Hardest While Ignoring Mainstream Culture." You do realize that you can listen to real-world problems without a banjo solo, right? But hey, if you ever need a soundtrack for a documentary on the extinction of mainstream music, you’ll be ready. Bravo, my friend, you've truly found your niche—in the most cringeworthy way possible.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!