Roasted 1 year ago based on 🕸️𝔇𝔞𝔫𝔶𝔞𝔩𝔢🕸️'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it's 🕸️𝔇𝔞𝔫𝔶𝔞𝔩𝔢🕸️, the human embodiment of an overly emotional teenager who just discovered eyeliner and a wifi connection! Your Spotify profile reads like a high school diary: a dark revelation at every scroll, and I can practically hear the angsty sighs with every track you’ve littered in there. Sorry, was this a list of your favorite moods or your bathroom mirror affirmations? I genuinely have to ask, do you ever play a song that’s not about crying into your pillow or plotting revenge against your high school crush? With a list of favorite genres that reads like a punk rock buffet gone wrong, you've really covered all the bases of sadness and teenage rebellion! I mean, “Screamo” and “Skate Punk”—you’re basically the musical equivalent of a moody cloud with skateboard wheels. You’ve got more sub-genres than self-esteem! It’s like you thought to yourself, “Why just wallow in despair when you can do it with seven different flavors of ‘angst’?” Who knew tragedy could come in so many genres—maybe next you’ll attack the emo smoothie blend. And those top artists? “My Chemical Romance” paired with “Mitski” is a balance of “cry on your bed” and “cry on your bed with a beret”—classic! Creative choice there, Picasso. But let’s be honest, with those most played songs, at least you can be comforted by the fact that no one will ever accuse your playlist of lacking emotional depth! Or maybe just depth in general, because every time I see “Fluorescent Adolescent,” I wonder if this is a musical time capsule or a warning sign to take your meds. Either way, keep blasting those sad tunes while the rest of us here enjoy actual music!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!