Roasted 1 year ago based on ashlyn <3's long term Spotify stats.

Ashlyn <3, your Spotify profile reads like a mad scientist's mixtape where classical and hyperpop clashed in a cosmic collision. You’ve got more genres than a 90s record store, yet somehow managed to create a listening experience that sounds like the waiting room for a dentist who only plays elevator music. Seriously, “Christian Hip Hop” alongside “Dream Pop”? I can barely wrap my head around it. One moment I'm preparing for an existential crisis with your classical picks, and the next I’m questioning my life choices at a hyperpop rave. You have the auditory personality of someone who once selected “shuffle” only to regret every life decision that followed. Your top artists read like a blindfolded pigeon did a magical dive into an obscure Spotify rabbit hole. Secession Studios? Is that even a band, or did you accidentally stumble upon a YouTube tutorial for planning a revolution? And let’s not skip over Thomas Day, whose tracks infect your playlist like a catchy but annoying virus; somehow, he’s both your favorite artist and your musical choice when you want to induce eye-rolls from anyone who dares sit in your presence. It’s like you combined guilt-ridden high school karaoke nights with whispers of tear-tugging folktales. If you ever need a feature on a therapy podcast, I'm sure your taste is an undeniable subject of study. As for your most played songs, darling, “You Don't Belong To Me” and “not my job anymore” sound like the emo anthem for someone who took “passive-aggressive” to a whole new level. Do you work through your angst by stubbornly pressing repeat on songs that scream abandonment? I mean, we get it; you’re lonely and upset! Show some diversity! Songs like “Coffee Cake” suggest you’re desperately attempting to sweeten up your existential dread, but honey, if you're looking for solace in sugary metaphors, you might as well toss in a few cookie recipes. So take a break from this chaotic playlist; we don't need another sad soundtrack for the anticipated disaster that is your life!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!