Roasted 2 years ago based on Dan Cooper's long term Spotify stats.

Dan Cooper, huh? The guy who managed to turn an identity crisis into a Spotify playlist. It's like you threw a dart at a board of genres and somehow landed on something that only a middle school art teacher would consider edgy. "Punk," "Hardcore Punk," and "Skate Punk" are all listed with the enthusiasm of someone who's never set foot on a skateboard. Meanwhile, that sprinkle of "Britpop" feels like the time you tried to impress your friends with a half-baked British accent and everyone just cringed. It's a hodgepodge of angst that screams, "I had my phase in high school… and I never really left it." And speaking of your top artists, you’ve somehow made the noncommittal choice of picking musicians who can only be described as the perfect soundtrack to “I still live in my mom's basement.” Between Poppy and Noname, it’s a wonder people don’t mistake your Spotify for a collection of fancy mood boards instead of a legitimate love for music. I mean, if anyone wanted to know what it’s like to have all the personality of a lukewarm cup of coffee, they could just take a listen. And Amyl and The Sniffers? Come on, even they’re a little embarrassed to see you in their listener stats—you’re the human equivalent of Spotify’s “just okay” algorithm. Let’s not even talk about your top tracks. The only thing more predictable than your love for Noname is the depressing fact that "You'll Miss Me When I'm Not Around" keeps playing on repeat. Are you trying to make everyone who hears it feel guilty for not texting you back? It's like a musical therapy session where they forgot to charge, and the only advice you’re getting is, “Maybe try the gym instead.” Dude, mix it up a bit! You could really benefit from a healthy dose of sunny pop or, I don’t know, literally anything that doesn’t sound like the soundtrack to a mildly tragic indie film. Here’s hoping your Spotify wrapped gives you some much-needed clarity, or at least your next phase!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!