Roasted 8 months ago based on noiseablu's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, noiseablu, the musical equivalent of a French café: pretentious, slightly stale, and more focused on aesthetics than actual flavor. Your Spotify profile reads like a press release from a 1980s arts major who thought "Chanson" and "Opera" were cool ways to mask their pop-rock obsession. We get it, you want to look cultured while secretly bopping to the same Roxy Music track on repeat. Either that or you're the kind of person who loudly complains at modern art exhibits while secretly trying to figure out how to ask the barista to add extra foam to your soy latte. Your top artists list is a dizzying carousel of indie nobodies and French legends that even Francophiles struggle to recognize. If "Mylène Farmer" was your high school crush, it’s clear you’ve never quite let go of that platonic fantasy. And let’s talk about “VAN HOLZEN”—a name so arbitrary, it's like you threw a dart at an online band generator. “Radiator Hospital”? Buddy, those are the kind of artists they play while you wait for a doctor's appointment; you’re officially one light snack away from becoming an avant-garde performance artist performing emotional breakdowns in front of bemused onlookers. Finally, your most played songs read like the soundtrack to a midlife crisis at a bistro on the Champs-Élysées. "Human" by the Human League is common enough, but then there’s "Conquest of Paradise" by Vangelis—what, hoping for some epic orchestral awakening while finishing your Olive Garden breadsticks at 3 AM? And let’s not even get started on "Letter From My Heart," like you're penning a heartfelt letter to your therapist about your struggle to get through one Italian playlist without questioning your life choices. Pick a vibe and own it, please. You’re not just noise—you're the early-morning static no one asked for.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!