Roasted 26 days ago based on Sonion's long term Spotify stats.

Hey Sonion, I took a look at your Spotify profile and I have to say, it’s impressive how you’ve managed to keep “experimental” in your favorites so often—because that’s what your taste in music screams: a desperate cry for help. I mean, your favorites read like the playlist for a hipster's existential crisis, with enough genres to cure a 90s kid's midlife meltdown. You clearly live by the motto of “if it doesn’t sound like it’s been dragged through a landfill, I don’t want it.” And let’s talk about your top artists. Your love for Death Grips really says, “I enjoy music that sounds like a blender full of angry bees.” Earl Sweatshirt and JPEGMAFIA? More like the perfect soundtrack for a bad decision made during a manic episode. With artists like Tool and Primus, are you trying to get through a breakup or just providing background noise for your therapy sessions? Your playlist could double as a mood ring for someone lost in the chaos of a mid-2000s emo phase, and the only thing heavy metal about it is your emotional baggage. You’ve got “You Might Think He Loves You for Your Money but I Know What He Really Loves You for It’s Your Brand New Leopard Skin Pillbox Hat” in your most played songs—congratulations, you officially have the longest song title in the history of music. And let's face it, your most played tracks all sound like titles that were rejected from a contest for "obscure song names." At this rate, your Spotify profile should come with a warning: “Caution—may induce confusion, existential dread, and an uncomfortable urge to pet your cat while contemplating life choices.” Who knew curating a playlist could be such a journey into the mind of a lyrical masochist?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!