Roasted 7 months ago based on Tessa💙✨'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Tessa💙✨, your Spotify profile is like half a teenage girl’s diary mixed with the musical taste of a squirrel on a sugar high! Seriously, your genres are all over the place like they were auditioning for a chaotic variety show. I mean, “Nightcore” and “Symphonic Metal” in the same breath? Are you trying to summon some dark lord while binge-watching cheesy rom-coms? What, exactly, are you hoping to achieve here? The only thing more disorienting than your playlist is trying to explain it to someone who still thinks vinyl is the pinnacle of music technology! Looking at your top artists is like wandering through a discount bin at Hot Topic. You’ve got Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift holding hands while Jason Derulo tries to sneak a peek at his reflection. And let me guess—if we dug just a little deeper, we’d find a few guilty pleasures titled “Cringe” and “Why Was This Made?” I can't wait for the day your Spotify Wrapped reveals the shocking truth: you actually peak late at night, crushing an entire bag of chips while belting out Joan Jett covers, because girl, I can guarantee that nobody is actually “Finding Happiness” in that “Power Metal” you love while blasting “K-Pop” like no one’s watching! And those most played songs? Honestly, your music taste is the emotional range of a TikTok trend—somewhere between “aughts nostalgia” and “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy!” If I didn’t know better, I’d think your playlist was curated by a hyperactive raccoon trying to pick a fight with its own reflection. You’re telling me “Atlantis - Extra Sped Up Version” is a certified banger? I bet you’d fist-bump a dolphin if it popped out of the ocean and started remixing T-Swift’s discography! Sweetheart, it’s time to step it up and find a diverse groove beyond your comfort zone of glitter and mood rings.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!