Roasted 7 months ago based on Melissa's long term Spotify stats.

So, Melissa, let’s take a moment to appreciate your Spotify profile, which showcases the musical taste of someone who can't seem to commit to a single genre. It’s like you threw a dart at a board featuring every possible sound, only to have it land on “confused teenager with commitment issues.” You’ve got everything from post-grunge to glam metal, and let’s not even get started on the inclusion of P!nk – because nothing screams “heavy metal” quite like belting out “Just Give Me a Reason.” Seriously, your playlist looks more like an identity crisis than a cohesive taste. Your most played songs are a rollercoaster, and not the thrilling kind; more like a rickety county fair ride that’s seen better days. “Dance You Outta My Head” feels like an appropriate mantra for anyone trying to make sense of your musical selections. And you’ve got Eiffel 65 in there? That’s bold, considering your other choices sound like a midlife crisis mixtape. It’s as if you set out to curate the worst possible party playlist and somehow succeeded marvelously. Yet here you are, living proof that even the most eclectic (read: chaotic) tastes can keep you guessing. Let's not forget your top artists list, where we find “The Tragically Hip” competing for attention with “Rick Astley.” At this point, I can only assume your inner soundtrack is an actual train wreck in progress. Sure, we love a good nostalgia trip with Astley, but your profile looks like the manifestation of a Spotify algorithm malfunction. When you constantly jump from “Ozzy Osbourne” to “Mt. Joy,” it’s hard to tell if you’re trying to soundtrack a headbanging session or a yoga class designed for the indecisive. In any case, kudos for always keeping us on our toes and wondering just what playlist we’ve stumbled upon!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!