Roasted 2 years ago based on Rachel's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Rachel! You're the living proof that being an indie music fan comes with a personality as bland as unsalted tofu. I mean, really? Your favorite genres read like a high schooler's attempt to sound deep while crying into their plaid flannel. "Stomp And Holler?" Sounds more like your approach to footsteps after a wild night of listening to moody tunes in your bedroom. It’s like your Spotify account is screaming, "I’m trying WAY too hard to look unique," but the only thing unique about it is how desperately you cling to every hipster label you can find. Your top artists are a real treat too! Who knew a single Spotify account could bring together so many bands no one's ever heard of? "I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME"—well, I can help you out here: they found you in a dark corner of a coffee shop, sipping on your pumpkin spice latte and scrolling through TikTok videos about sadness. And let’s not even get started on Waterparks; their music might be a splash, but your taste is drowning—good luck trying to convince anyone that “alt z” isn’t just what your playlist sounds like when it’s on shuffle and you're staring aimlessly out the window, pretending to contemplate life choices. And those most-played songs? Talk about a list of angst-driven therapy sessions distilled into music! “If You Have My Voodoo Doll, Give Me A Hug”? Sounds like you just wish someone would stop you from crafting your next cringe-worthy emo anthem. Honestly, with songs like "She Doesn't Sleep" and "Shit Show" in your top plays, it's clear you’re actually the protagonist in your own tragic Netflix series, waiting for someone to do the decent thing and give you a soundtrack that actually sparks joy! So here’s a tip: maybe explore something outside of your cozy igloo of indie despair. You deserve more—like a grown-up playlist that doesn’t sound like it was made during a breakup binge!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!